My reflection haunted me this morning like it haunted me the
first day. My acne seems like it’s getting worse. I envy the girls with perfect
skin. This cold weather is making my skin dry and red. I hated brushing my
teeth and washing my face this morning because I was forced to look at my face in the mirror, and my thoughts went back to reaching for my cover up under the
counter. The temptation wasn’t strong enough for me to actually act on it, but
the fact that the thought was in my head kind of disappointed me. Why is
something as small as a bottle of cover up so significant in my life right now?
I am turning to it to relieve my insecurities, when I should be turning to God
for that comfort. Each day is a new day and with each day comes the same
struggles and thoughts that permeate through my mind. Each day I need to
remember to turn to the Lord to ease my thoughts.
Walking through campus today I passed a girl whom I did not
know. We made eye contact and she smiled at me. Y’all- do not underestimate the
power of a smile. She does not know me. She does not know how self-conscious I
am. She does not know my struggles. Yet, in that moment we shared I felt good
about myself. For that split second I forgot about my worries and I was focused
on thinking what a joy it was to receive a smile from a stranger. What a JOY I
felt. When was the last time a stranger
smiled at you? Or you at a stranger? If you have the opportunity to, smile at
someone. It’s not weird. It is something that is so missing from this world.
Genuine kindness is not something to be taken for granted.
At soccer practice today I studied each and every one of my
teammates’ faces. Half of them did not have makeup on. All of them looked
beautiful to me. It makes me jealous and angry sometimes when I see girls with
perfect skin. Why don’t they have to try to be pretty? Why do I have to try so
hard? I used to not have to try that hard, in high school my skin wasn’t
perfect but it wasn’t bad either. I had normal skin, and the most you could get
me to do was put on some blush maybe and some eyeliner or mascara- all three if
I was feeling extra special. Oh, how I long for that again. Within this past
year my skin has broken out and I hate it so much. I am embarrassed to go out
in public because of the way I feel people will perceive me. In high school if
I caught someone staring at me I was flattered. Now when I catch someone
staring at me I feel embarrassed. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet
outside opinions dictate how I feel about myself.
Repeat after me, Rach- “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN THE LORD’S
EYES. HIS EYES ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT MATTER. HIS OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT
HAS ANY MERIT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL TO THE MAN THAT CREATED THE WORD BEAUTY.”
Wait a second, as I typed (and said to myself….yes I did
repeat that to myself) that last sentence, I stopped. We are beautiful to the
person who CREATED the word beauty. He is the One who produced everything in
this world we deem ‘beautiful’. Is His opinion not the only one that honestly really should matter to us? After all
He’s the one who defines it!!! I just had an epiphany and you all just
witnessed it. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL TO THE PERSON WHO DEFINES THE WORD BEAUTY. How great of a notion is that?? I just
smiled to myself and I am not ashamed to tell you that. I now have this urge to
shout out to everyone I see that they are considered beautiful to the One who
created the concept of beauty AND who created them! Are we not all God’s works
of art? Are we not all His grand masterpieces? How many artists do you know
create something that they think is
ugly or unworthy? How many artists do you know are not proud of their works?
Artists create things from their own hands because they want to show the world
how beautiful they are. They want to show others how proud they are of what
they created. Is the Lord not the ultimate artist? He does not create things He
is not proud of. He created us in His own image because we are all beautiful
and worthy and something to be shown off. I don’t know about you, but I’m
feeling pretty good about myself right now.
I started off today not really excited anymore about this
challenge. Let me rephrase, I wasn’t excited about the fact that I had to go
out in public, yet again, knowing I didn’t look or feel my best. Throughout
this day though, I have felt the Lord manifest himself in the strangest places
and really show me that true beauty does NOT in fact come from other people’s
opinions. True beauty comes from Him and Him alone.
I would also like to share something else with you all. I
have received so many wonderful messages from my readers, but one I read today
really touched me in a way that I don’t think I can describe. Everyone longs to
find his or her purpose in life. Some never find it and some don’t pay attention
to it. I wrote down on my bucket list over 4 years ago ‘#48- Touch someone’s
life in a remarkable way’. I’ve been curious/excited to see what event in my
life would allow me to cross this one off since the day I wrote it. I received
a beautiful message today from a really sweet girl, and at the end of it she
wrote, “…but I just wanted you to know that you can definitely cross off #48 on
your bucket list. You’ve really made a difference.” I read this and started crying.
The only reason I can cross this one off is because of JESUS CHRIST. Never
would I have the power to affect someone else’s life on my own accord. All the
glory goes to Him who heals the broken. He is healing me right now and I know
He is healing some of you. I am blessed to be able to have this kind of impact
on some of you and pray that each post I write will continue to please the
Lord.
Pray for me tonight. I’ll be praying for each of you.
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